Hello. It's me.
As the song continues to express, I have indeed thought about us for a long, long time as this blogsite has been something I have been missing for an exceedingly lengthy period of time. If you have visited this site in the past, and especially once Covid 19 became a most unwanted part of our world, you may have seen the point where activity upon Synesthesia slowly dwindled into silence.
I wish to assure you that the reasons for this extended absence were not for lack of interest whatsoever. The reasons fell into the new anxiety of the times combined with a punishing work schedule in my real world career as a preschool teacher during The Great Resignation and the aforementioned pandemic. Most of all, and most openly, my issues with depression rose considerably and to be able to function while navigating mental illness took its toll upon my mental energy, leaving me with barely anything remaining in order to just sit and create, let alone derive any enjoyment from one of the only things in my life that has provided me with a true sense of joy, purpose and accomplishment.
To say Synesthesia, and its companion blogsite Savage Cinema, are extensions of myself would be an understatement to say the least. They ARE me. And yet, I was not here writing and musing and sharing with you as I had been doing for years. In fact, in addition to my activities upon both blogsites diminishing greatly, my times at the movie theater or even watching at home slowed, and furthermore, my love of reading also essentially ceased as I found myself struggling to concentrate upon anything.
So, aside from continuing to create new episodes of Savage Radio and installments of The VMO Show and VMO After Dark for WVMO (having the deadlines of air dates perfectly served as a proper push when I otherwise may have folded myself inwards), my creative life has been placed on an unexpected and unwanted hiatus.
In doing so, I felt that I was losing myself.
And so, here I am again, attempting to try once again because truthfully, I do not ever wish to lose this piece of myself. I do not have writer's block. Just as it has been, the words are sitting patiently inside of me and I know that when have the proper time, space and energy, they will arrive. It is the motivation and confidence to try again that this time has been insidiously robbing from me (thanks depression!). But, I really do wish to try.
I have begun reading again and I am currently reading and thoroughly enjoying Dave Grohl's beautifully written memoir as I also remember Taylor Hawkins and the two tribute concerts have come to pass. My musical purchases have not slowed down whatsoever and truthfully, they have increased as 2022 has proven itself to being a stellar year in music with artists both veteran and rising releasing art that is supremely purposeful and enriching.
My experiences with live music have been minimal as, contrary to popular belief and wishes, we are still living within a pandemic, so safety first. That said, I have been to a couple of shows including my friends in Disq and a complete surprise starring Aly & AJ. To that end, I have words at the ready for my first significant Synesthesia writing in far too long and I really wish to push myself to bring it into the world.
And still, I do not wish to get ahead of myself and I do not wish to make promises for fear of disappointing myself.
But I will try. And that is all that I can do. All of us for that matter.
Keep listening to what brings you joy, everyone.
PLAY LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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