Nearly two months at home.
In some respects, being at home has not been so terrible. The accelerated pace of life being forced to slow, organizing life so that my trips outside of the house are severely limited, those aspects have helped me as the pace at which I was running was not enjoyable. I am not cramming things into any spare moments, as few as they were to find. I do feel more restful and calmer in that regard. The introvert in me is actually really enjoying this time away from the world.
But, I wish I could have this feeling without the anxiety, the constant state of worry, the fear of the unknown regarding all aspects of life...before.
So, distractions have helped. Lots of streaming programs and movies that I never had time for. Lots of writing for this site as well as Savage Cinema. Reading, of course. And thankfully, for now, I am still employed in my real world career as a preschool teacher as the virtual curriculum is in full force. And as for Savage Radio...I am thankful, so very thankful that I am able to continue that in earnest as well.
Last month, there was a question of exactly what might happen to the show with the pandemic and the safer-at-home mandate, which meant the WVMO studios were closed for live broadcasts, and they remain so at this time of writing and for the remainder of the month of May. When the announcement that we would close the studio first hit, I was devastated. Just devastated. Of course, it was the inevitable and for the greater good but even so, I was so sad that my creative outlet had to end for a while...or so I thought.
Thankfully, the higher ups at the station announced that they did not wish for any shows to "go dark" for this duration and that there were ways to continue broadcasts, especially as quite a number of our DJ's pre-record their shows for broadcast, whereas I perform mine live. With superior aid from fellow DJ's Johnny Rasta, host of "Back In The Day" and Jeff Perry, host of "This Week In Music History," they tutored me in all things Audacity, the free download program that makes it possible to record my shows as they air as well as compose new shows. I was also then allowed to borrow a USB microphone from the station, which I could plug into my laptop to record my vocals.
And so...
Well, I was intimidated and scared. Why? I had all of the tools and all I had to do was to...just do it! For too many psychological reasons to go into at this time, I can give you the shortcut that I was afraid that for whatever reasons, I would not be able to figure it all out and then inevitably face failure, leaving me right back where I started, but filled with more disappointment. I didn't wish to be confronted with that possibility.
But as Todd Rundgren once sang with Utopia, "If I didn't try..."
And as Johnny Rasta sad to me, "Think of it like this: Instead of performing live, you're making an album!"
And the legendary Lindsay Wood Davis, himself a member of the Wisconsin Broadcasters Hall Of Fame reached back to me with words of encouragement while also expressing that after over 50 years in the radio industry, he still has to learn new things!
I had to try.
So, a few weeks from that point, I have since re-edited a few old shows for re-broadcast and have recorded three all new shows, one of which aired last week and another will premiere tomorrow night.
One thing that I have also really enjoyed about this self-containment period it witnessing how creativity itself has been affected and how it has forced artists to be inventive in all new ways, and the connections made have proven themselves to being even more ingratiating and endearing. As for Savage Radio, I guess I have always kind of/sort of thought of the musical flow of the show as being akin to an album. But now, to create fully at home...to conceive, shape, formulate, record, edit and then get it "in the can"...yeah, it does fuel my fantasies of being able to make an album (and trust me, how I envy musicians who are in their homes and able to create and record at will). And it makes me feel even more thankful to have the opportunity and support to keep this radio dream alive...even in isolation.
I ask of all of you to keep being creative in this frightening, uncertain time. I ask of you to do for others just as people did for me when I was facing intensely serious doubts. Keep being there to encourage, to offer kindness, to give support, patience and presence when someone you care about needs to be held upright. Like I say every week at the end of each show, take care of yourselves, take care of each other.
We need caring more than ever...and also, keep your music going...and PLAY LOUD!!!!!
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