WORDS FOR TOM TEUBER

 

TOM TEUBER
OCTOBER 1, 1946-JULY 20, 2023

It has been said that every time a person dies, a library is destroyed.

During the mid morning of Friday, July 21st as I was finishing a school meeting, I received a text from my friend Jeff Perry, DJ/Host of "This Week In Music History," as broadcast upon WVMO 98.7 FM-The Voice Of Monona and airs directly after my own show on Wednesday nights. He wrote to ask me if I had heard the news that Tom Teuber, veteran radio programmer, DJ and one of the chief architects in the creation of WVMO nearly 8 years ago had passed away just one day prior. He was 76 years old.

Much like Chicago's Lin Brehmer of WXRT FM, who passed away in January of this year, the influence of Tom Teuber upon me and my life long love of radio is immeasurable. His presence was in the behind the scenes aspects of radio programming that shaped my musical tastes and fueled my fantasies of the happenings on the other side of the radio speakers--and again, I never realized that fact at the time, especially in my youth. Tom Teuber was a force in the FM Chicago radio wars of the early 1980's (mirroring my own arrival to the FM dial) serving as Program Director of the long defunct WMET FM, who combatted for ratings with the mighty (and also now defunct) WLUP FM, otherwise known as "The Loop." 

By the time I arrived in Madison, WI from Chicago for college at the University Of Wisconsin-Madison, Tom Teuber was also setting up shop for more "radio wars" as Programming Director, first, at the former WMAD FM, a progressive rock station and then at WMMM FM, known lovingly as "Triple MMM," before departing in 2018. In both cases, to my ears, these two commercial and eclectic stations served as close cousins to the exemplary WXRT, a station that Teuber did not have a hand in, but did indeed possess a longtime friendship with 'XRT DJ legend Terri Hemmert, knowing each other since their own college days at Elmurst College in Elmhurst, IL  

So, with that, and with a detour to being a Producer for Chicago's public radio station WBEZ FM, Tom Teuber's influence fully spanned my life from the time I was roughly ten and the way through my twenties...and I never even realized it. But...unquestionably, he was there.

After departing Triple MMM, Tom Teuber continued to leave his immense mark upon Madison radio by taking a weekly morning DJ gig at the student/community radio station WSUM FM (itself the station that rose from the ashes of my college radio days at WLHA FM) and finally, he became one of the chief architects in the creation of WVMO FM, where I have made my radio home with Savage Radio for almost eight years now. 

My life intersected, so to speak, with Tom Teuber's at the very first meeting I attended for WVMO, a point in which I wondered if I could find a space upon this new community radio station which had been in the world for just a few short months at that time. I remember walking into the meeting space in the Monona Public Library, filled with people whom I had never seen before but somehow, I did spot Tom Teuber, bespectacled, bearded and sitting silently at a table facing the crowd of listeners. Perhaps I had seen photos of him in the past but I didn't remember. I just knew that it was him, his legend and reputation for being a mentor long preceding him. 

That evening also introduced me to another legendary radio figure, whose influence, guidance, innovation and mentorship wielded a hefty, lengthy reach...yet, in that moment, I had no idea. The meeting was led by the inimitable Mr. Lindsay Wood Davis, who, among his many accomplishments and accolades, is member of a three generation radio family, a member of the Wisconsin Broadcasters Hall Of Fame as well as being one of the key figures in the creation of WVMO alongside Tom Teuber, a longtime colleague and friend. 

In my years since joining WVMO, Lindsay Wood Davis has been nothing less than tremendous to me personally, as his mentorship, encouragements, priceless advice, superlative warmth and generosity has delivered one gift after another, both in radio and personally, as he has been present during times of immense difficulty as when my Dad passed away in December 2018 and during times when my bouts with depression became despairing. Yet, at that first meeting, Davis presided over the proceedings with an infectious enthusiasm that made me feel absolutely welcome, even if I was unsuccessful in joining WVMO. "You've got the bug!!" he positively beamed after I introduced myself and explained that I was once a college DJ.          

Tom Teuber, by contrast, said not one word that night, presiding over the proceedings like a wise, silent owl. He cut an intimidating figure and the brief moments I wondered if I should introduce myself passed quickly due to my natural shyness and fear that I would just irritate him. I now know that I need not have been so trepidacious. 

Just one week after that meeting, on November 11, 2015, I had my very first show for WVMO and shortly thereafter, I began to hear from Tom Teuber a little bit via Facebook messages and comments. I remember him writing to me when I immediately played a live version of "Driven To Tears" by The Police, and he remarked that the photo of drummer Stewart Copeland behind his drum kit adorned with a WMET t-shirt was taken during Teuber's reign. I remember other times when I would write to him to ask a question, whether regarding possible playlist inclusions or about rules concerning the "seven dirty words." He would always take the time to deliver succinct answers and in doing so, I felt a sense of trust building that I could utilize his services and not feel as if I was being a bother. 

As I have been writing, it occurred to me that I should look into my Messenger app to see if any of our correspondence remained as I am notorious about not deleting very much of anything. With the grace of the universe, my back and forth messages with Tom still exist, which is perfect as there was one memory that I really wanted to recount and now, I have the actual proof. 

One evening, after a show, I received the following message from Tom:

"Did I hear you play a song off the new Paul  Simon album? Do you have the whole album? If so, may I borrow it? I'd like to put a couple of tunes in rotation.

I also dug that Monkees song!

thanx
twt"

Tom Teuber was listening. 

Certainly because of all of the work he had involved himself in with the creation of WVMO. But, even still...this man...this radio legend who had experienced lifetimes of radio, a figure who had existed as a massive influence in my radio listening...was actually listening to me and he reached out when he never, ever had to. 

At station events, I would look for Tom but I never saw him.  Even so, I always heard one story after another from DJs expressing their immensely positive feelings about him. He and I continued to correspond on line here and there and one day, I received the following message from him: 

"It occurs to me that you and I have a lot to talk about. If nothing else, I can regale you with stories of WMET and WXRT. I kn ow it's short notice, but my Friday afternoon is wide open. Otherwise, pick a day next week. 

thankx
twt"   

Now, obviously, I jumped at this chance to meet up to, as he once wrote to me, "Drink a little beer, talk a little trash...solve the problems of the world," but my work schedule and responsibilities left almost no extra windows for me to punch through to really nail down a time to meet, no matter how deep my desire. 

And in retrospect, before anyone knew it...the pandemic happened, no one went anywhere and we were all separated in our own homes unsure of how or when we would all reconnect again.

When I think of Tom Teuber now, I return to that sentiment about libraries I stated at the outset of this remembrance. I can only imagine the sheer library of history of radio, music, rock  stars and cultural history that existed inside of just this one man and how I had access to said library but never had the right chance to enter. And now...that library is no more.   

Of course, with people like Lindsay Wood Davis, who himself is a living, breathing library of whom I should indulge more often than I do (maybe perhaps as I do not wish to bother him or take up his valuable time, which hehas more than earned now that he is officially retired) and others who knew the man personally and had forged a shared history, the idiosyncratic Tom Teuber library still exists within every person who ever knew him. 

 

To this very moment, I have no idea of why Tom Teuber ever invited me to join him at a local restaurant or bar to meet officially and to hear stories of his life and career. I can only gather that perhaps he may have found a more than willing person to hear him extoll due to the music selections I played. Or maybe this was just who he was a person. Regardless, I really wanted to know and yet, we could never get our schedules to line up and I have regretted that ever since. 

But...I am thankful. Thankful that someone of his pedigree saw something in me that he felt I was a worthy recipient of his knowledge. Yet, regardless of any failed meetings, I take this time to thank him and send him my eternal gratitude for if  not for him and his influence, I would not be a part of WVMO, and living out my childhood radio fantasies in a way that feels true and representative of my own spirit. I don't think that my soul is really made for commercial radio and corporate driven entities. A local, community radio station that just happens to have a world wide reach thanks to internet streaming capabilities is just the perfect size for me. 

Tom Teuber was a figure who could navigate any and all of the worlds within the genre of radio and miraculously leave his personal mark everywhere he traveled. 

The very same mark that he made upon me.

Thank you, Tom. Rest In Peace.


CODA                                                                                                                                                          By the way, the song by Paul Simon Tom asked about was "The Werewolf" from the album "Stranger To Stranger" (released June 3, 2016) and the Monkees' track was "Me & Magdelena," a lovely duet featuring Micky Dolenz and the late Mike Nesmith, composed by Death Cab For Cutie's Ben Gibbard and produced by the late Adam Schlessinger from the album "Good Times!" (released May 27, 2016).  

I think for a future episode of The VMO Show, I should play both songs in tribute.

WANNA GO FOR A RIDE? :"ATUM: A ROCK OPERA IN THREE ACTS" THE SMASHING PUMPKINS (2023)

 

ATUM: A ROCK OPERA IN THREE ACTS
THE SMASHING PUMPKINS

THE SMASHING PUMPKINS:
Jimmy Chamberlin: Drums and Percussion
William Patrick Corgan: Vocals, Guitars, Bass Guitars, Keyboards
James Iha: Guitars
Jeff Schroeder: Guitars, Keyboards
with
Katie Cole and Sierra Swan: Backing Vocals

All music and lyrics by William Patrick Corgan

Produced by William Patrick Corgan

Released May 5, 2023

Is it all interconnected? Is it all essentially just one epic song, which if you strung from end to end, it would exist as essentially one musical universe during which each release is a different corner of said universe?

Over the years upon this site, I have made comparisons and allusions between The Smashing Pumpkins' co-founder/singer/songwriter/multi-instrumentalist/producer/band leader Billy Corgan with the likes of key iconic musical figures. As with Pete Townshend, I see similarities due to his skills as a songwriting conceptualist. To both Miles Davis and Prince, I see similarities due to Corgan's skills as a bandleader and a songwriting prolificness and dexterity, which has produced its own singular musical language. To Robert Fripp of King Crimson, I see similarities as Corgan remains the central figure, the sun into which everything surrounding its orbit. He sometimes possesses the raw honesty of John Lennon combined with the orchestral waterfall colors of Brian Wilson. And now...curiously, and truthfully just at this moment of writing, it has occurred to me the artistic question of whether Billy Corgan is possibly rock and roll's Stephen King?  

Dear readers, I will first admit to you that I am not well versed in the bibliography of Stephen King. That being said, I do know that his ouevre is largely interconnected with all manner of characters, stories, themes, terminologies and symbolisms flowing freely from one novel to the next and back again. When Billy Corgan first announced that the band would be recording a 33 song rock opera that would serve as a sequel album to both "Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness" (released October 24, 1995) and "MACHINA/the machines of God" (released February 29, 2000), featuring the next phase of the Zero character from the first album to the Glass character from the second, I was enthralled at the prospect, especially as Corgan had been hinting at a desire to do "one more opera" in interviews promoting the release of "Shiny And Oh So Bright, Vol. 1/LP: No Past, No Future, No Sun" (released November 16, 2018). 

I admit that for a brief spell, I was curious if Volume 2 in the "Shiny and Oh So Bright" series, the 20 song, double album synthetic rabbit hole of "CYR" (released November 27, 2020), was this mysterious new opera that Billy Corgan wanted the band to dive into as its next artistic statement. It was not. However, by the time Corgan revealed that the next incarnation of Zero/Glass was named Shiny, the complexities and connections became that much more labyrinthine, the musical world building that much more expansive...or perhaps, was it there all along, hiding in plain sight?

Maybe I am getting ahead of myself. But for an artist, a band and now, a new album such as this one, I feel the need to delve a into the weeds for a while. 

For the past few months, I have become fully immersed in the long awaited triple album rock opera from The Smashing Pumpkins entitled "ATUM" (pronounced autumn). I will admit that my initial reaction to the work was perhaps slightly muted but such as things are within Pumpkinland, the initial meeting with the music was unorthodox, yet deeply compelling and now, as I look back I wondered if it was an updated version of plans Billy Corgan attempted to execute in the past yet did not fully come into fruition.  

This part of my journey to "ATUM" began with a podcast. "Thirty-Three With William Patrick Corgan," featuring co-hosts Joe Galli and Kyle Davis and a series of guests began September 19, 2022. It was a weekly program devoted to premiering one new song from the album over the 33 week period during which Corgan would extrapolate upon the genesis of each song and its role in the album narrative to such a meticulous degree that made for a compulsive listening experience that was akin to what I would imagine was the experience of hearing a weekly 1940's radio serial play. Beyond the actual song of the week, Corgan would then widen his conversational scope to include themes that tied towards the narrative certainly but allowed us a glimpse at the man behind the wizard, which conveyed his spirit as a philosophical humanist, historian, linguist, a dash of a contrarian and conspiracy theorist, and all of this plus more congealed into who the man is as an artist. (my only quibble...could someone please explain to the man--again, the historian and linguist--exactly what "woke" means...but I digress).

Every week, I waited with bated breath to hear the latest track from the upcoming album and aside from a few selections, I have to openly admit to being a tad underwhelmed initially. It wasn't that I thought any of the material was subpar because nothing was by a long shot. But not much really quite connected. The dopamine rush didn't quite happen but that was OK with me as I also openly admit that I purposefully did not re-listen to each episode's song as I wanted to wait and hear the album in full once the entire project was fully released, despite the plan to initially release each of the three acts separately for streaming.    

My issue was rooted in that sense of perception as when I think of the term "rock opera," as well as the albums both "Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness" and "MACHINA/the machines of God" are, my brain imagined something more immediately guitar centered or something as openly thunderous as the band's past work. The new material carried a larger synthetic aesthetic and is keyboard heavy, which made me think that despite this role of "ATUM" in this trilogy, that it felt more like an album connected to "CYR"--an album, despite its own role in the "Shiny and Oh So Bright" series, was a work that I felt possessed the next phase to both the societal warnings of "Zeitgeist" (released July 10, 2007) and the spiritual odyssey/crisis of "Oceania" (released June 19, 2012). 

To make musical maters even more entangled was a revelation on the podcast regarding the new album's central character. Billy Corgan had long already confirmed that the Zero/Glass character of the ongoing opera now existed in the form of Shiny who now exists within the "ATUM" storyline set 20 years in the future when Earth is ruled under one authoritarian government known as The X & I and Shiny himself -at age 70-has been exiled from Earth and has been orbiting the sun for said two decades. The layers deepened when Corgan referred to the "Shiny and Oh So Bright" title as a band name as in..."Shiny and the Oh So Bright"...like "Glass and the Machines Of God" from "MACHINA." 

So..let's see...in the full, overarching narrative of the three albums or even ALL of the albums, are Volumes 1 and 2 seen as albums by Shiny and the Oh So Bright, essentially The Smashing Pumpkins in character a la The Beatles as Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band? Is "CYR" a synthetic dream state featuring Shiny's thoughts during his outer space exile?

What I can say after hearing the album in its entirety and immersing in it with repeated listenings is the following: The Smashing Pumpkins'  "ATUM" is a demanding, expansive work but one that is exceedingly listenable, as it is overflowing with a cornucopia of some of Billy Corgan's most beautiful melodies, several of which are honestly lump in the throat inducing. 

It is the fulfillment of the promise set by the official return of co-founder/guitarist/songwriter/singer James Iha and drummer extraordinaire Jimmy Chamberlin to the band in 2018, following the repair of their personal relationships a few years prior. It is further confirmation to the essential presence of guitarist Jeff Schroeder (who extends to keyboard duties this time around), who joined the band in 2007 during the reformation period and whose Pumpkins tenure has even exceeded those of the original members. By album's end, "ATUM" has more than proven its sense of artistic triumph, by making it a work I wish to hear all over again immediately upon the album's conclusion, it is also one that makes me very excited to hear where the band will go next. 

With the classic prog rock concept album sound of a gong, the album opens the scene with ACT I, the instrumental title track which carries a Kubrick-ian cosmic openness of keyboard flourishes, guitar shooting stars and that deep bass and drums suggesting the vastness of the universe. From here, we are introduced to the narrative's cast of characters which stars Shiny, the aforementioned rock star exiled into space from Earth due to being perceived as an existential threat to The X & I. The Broadway-esque "Butterfly Suite" introduces us to lovelorn superfan June, who bargained her way onto her own spaceship to follow Shiny, who, by contrast, has no idea that she exists. As Shiny decides to end his existence by punching in the irreversible code of The March Of Life--as represented by the defiant boom of "The Good In Goodbye"--which will direct his spaceship into the heart of the sun, a horrified June sends a coded distress message (via a Shiny demo "With Ado I Do") to underground Earth bound internet chat groups with the hopes that someone, anyone will respond and possibly save Shiny's life. 

On Earth, we have teenagers Osirah and Nighthawk, members of the hacker group Hopus Dei who discover the message and while not ever having been fans of Shiny, whose work has been essentially erased on Earth, they are curious enough to follow the virtual breadcrumbs and share Shiny's globally banned message with the world, therefore alerting The X & I, now placing their lives in danger. Osirah's sense of rebelliousness and the coming uprising are represented by the ominous "Embracer." Osirah also contacts June, alerting her that the message has been received and shared, resulting in June's elation and hopes that Shiny can be saved ("Steps In Time") as well as her romantic daydreams of a life with Shiny (the sparkling "Where Rain Must Fall"). 

After June sends a return message to Osirah giving her and Nighthawk coordinates where they can find out crucial information and a "treasure" concerning the identity of the exiled Shiny, The X & I are in murderous pursuit (the menacing "Beyond The Vale"). Arriving at an abandoned and long dilapidated amusement park called "Dream Dream," the teenagers come across Ruby the robot, envisioned as a 1920's showgirl, who will give them access to the treasured hard drive that contains Shiny's pure consciousness, yet not until after she powers up and sings her signature tune "Hooray!," a track fully reminiscent of Disney's "The Main Street Electrical Parade." 

ACT I concludes with "The Gold Mask," a representation of the automaton Ruby with the emotionless consciousness of Shiny and to whom Osirah and Nighthawk can communicate with and discover how they may be able to thwart the totalitarian regime of The X & I. 

ACT II opens in a field of sunflowers as Osirah, Nighthawk and Ruby contemplate the pivotal moment in which they all exist, thus foreshadowing the unquestionably dire consequences to come in the expansive, pensive yet soaring "Avalanche." and unleashed in the roaring "Empires," the former Zero's pure conscious warning to the world--an illegal message now heard globally. 

Knowing that her message has been received, a vindicated June then decides to join Shiny in The March Of Life and heads towards the heart of the sun. In an act of rebellion, other exiled into space Earthling, in defiance to The X & I via a chorus of "It ain't right!!" also punch in The March Of Life code in tis resolute "Neophyte." Meanwhile on Earth, as society is now knowledgeable of what is happening in space, the global gaslighting of The X & I springs into action in the militaristic "Moss."

Through the sublime, shimmering meditative mid act trilogy of "Night Waves,"' Space Age" and the astounding "Every Morning," we find our cast in states of rumination. Osirah with the consequences of her actions, older hacker Dr. Aesh's with his memories of a past, more democratic society and deep in space, just as Shiny is about to reach the point of no return, the album's celestial Greek chorus, known as The Seraphim (as represented by the glorious backing vocals of Katie Cole and Sierra Swan), alert  Shiny that his life's work is not yet complete...and inexplicably his ship turns to return to Earth...leaving June and other exiles lost in the gravitational pull of the sun ("To The Grays"). 

The glam rock stomp of "Beguiled" finds Dr. Aesh is a crisis of consciousness as he betrays the teenagers and Ruby by leading The X & I to his safehouse, where Nighthawk is killed. Filled with remorse and before his own death via The X & I, Dr. Aesh gives Osirah and Ruby a jet pack to escape in the spiraling, skyward "The Culling." 

With "Springtimes," ACT II ends as it began, in a open field where Osirah and Ruby have landed and now bid farewell, leaving each other to go their own ways in a markedly changed world.

The dynamic, climactic ACT III begins with the outstanding seven minute plus slow burn "Sojourner," during which June in facing certain death and Ruby and Osirah on Earth awaiting Shiny's return to the planet in which he is being welcomed in the subterfuge of a ceremony by The X & I. Upon emerging back onto the planet from which he was exiled and erased from global history, and miraculously not having aged a day, a confused Shiny cautiously meets the moment with vague pleasantries as a means to gather his bearings. 

The X & I then commandeer the proceedings to the chants of "ZERO!! ZERO!! ZERO!!!"during the spectacular arena rock, Queen accented operatics of "That Which Animates The Spirit," while in the audience stands a despondent Osirah, perceiving that Shiny is not here to begin a hoped for revolution but to acquiesce to the government. "The Canary Trainer" is her lament. 

As June nears the end in the pulsating "Pacer," the pounding "In Lieu Of Failure" finds Shiny invited to a celebration featuring a performance by a Glass and the Machines Of God cover band, in which he partakes for old times sakes until Osirah arrives in a fury, turns the crowd against Shiny, who is whisked to safety in the nick of time by Ruby.

Sequestered, Ruby explains to Shiny everything that has happened in the quiet "Cenotaph," but time is running out as both The X & I and Osirah are in pursuit of Shiny in the snarling "Harmageddon," as the government wishes to capture and control while the teenage hacker wants to kill him, for if he refuses to make the world better, then what good is he? Soon, Shiny and Ruby reach his spaceship and Shiny is now faced with the ultimate decision in "Fireflies," remain on Earth or leave the planet forever by his own volition.

Propelled by Jimmy Chamberlin's furiously tribal drums, the nearly nine minute "Intergalactic" sets the stage for the finale as Osirah and The X & I reach Shiny, guns armed and aimed directly at our hero. Realizing that his life on Earth will offer him noting and he has spiritually reached a level of peace within himself, he dares Osirah to pull the trigger knowing that the revolution she hopes for will not arrive even in his death. She fires, hits Ruby, who again saves Shiny as they board the spaceship and blast off.

On the gorgeous, jet force glory of "Spellbinding," hurtling through space, inexplicably Shiny understands that June is the one who saved him and loves him and in doing so, he turns towards the heart of the sun to find her. And the album draws to a close with the elegiac, tear inducing "Of Wings" which emotionally sends us and Shiny beyond the sun into points unknown.

On a pure musical level, The Smashing Pumpkins' "ATUM" is a beautifully diverse album on which the band delivers their signature brand of hard rock, metal shredding, and expansive prog rock directly alongside dream pop, acoustic/electronic hybrids, new wave textures, and folk ballads all fueled by Billy Corgan's one of a kind lyricism. 

With full disclosure and with no intended disrespect to Billy Corgan as a lyricist, with any music, I do not tend to gravitate towards the lyrics initially. It is the overall sound of the piece that gives me my first impressions with lyrics tending to reveal themselves after repeated listenings. In regards to Corgan's lyrics, they have almost always felt like an additional instrument to me, with phrases and words almost popping out of my speakers to my ears instead of the entire set whole cloth, and "ATUM" is no exception. All of that being said, Billy Corgan's narrative as depicted via his poetic, Shakespearean styled linguistics serves to speak of himself and his musings through all manner of allegory, symbolism, metaphors, invented spellings, song titles that sound more like book chapter titles, his ever evolving cast of characters and the full iconography of his and his band's musical language.  

Even though we have the full narrative and Billy Corgan's podcast explanations at our service, the lyrics tremendously invite us to lean in closer to interpret and discover, thus deepening the overall connection and meaning to the work. I am certain that if I had ample time on my hands, I could easily spend another several months to a year deciphering the lyrics line by line. But as for right now, I am going with how the album makes me feel when I listen. 

For me, The Smashing Pumpkins' "ATUM" is a monumental yet demonstrably mournful work. While not dour in the least, it feels to be a fully immersive lament for a world without nuance, where perceived realities carry greater weight than empirical truths and a worldview that exists only in binary options. Where people can be erased from the planet for no other reason than the self preservation of fascistic rule, a tide that can only be turned when all of the oppressed rise and reclaim their inherent power. 

I am certain that there are some who may feel the album is a right wing leaning dissertation of Billy Corgan's potentially Libertarian fantasies, nightmares and rants against the dreaded "cancel culture.". But, again, there is nuance which is asking to be considered, for in our very real world, where an artist such as Bill Cosby, for instance, did indeed create a peerless, timeless body of work and achievement while also committing horrific crimes against women for decades, notice how his aforementioned body of work and accolades have gradually disappeared...as if erased from existence--except from the people who knew him personally, so what does such an erasure really solve? 

Again, I digress, but what I am really getting at is that I do hear a truly humanistic approach at work to Corgan's narrative as the album ultimately represents an honest plea to understand that every single person on the planet has value and matters to the symbiotic nature of the existence of all. Everyone deserves to be seen as who they genuinely are and not as who they are perceived to be. In "ATUM," Shiny is continuously referred to as Zero, a representation of his past. Osirah's wrath is directed towards Shiny, yet he is a person she does not know or had even cared about prior to the events of the album, therefore making her rage something directed towards a representation of what she wants Shiny to be and not who he actually is. 

This theme reminded me of what Prince sang in his iconic track "Controversy"(single released September 2, 1981) "Was it good 4 U? Was eye what U wanted me 2 B?" A theme that has played out in the real world with Billy Corgan and The Smashing Pumpkins with factions of the fan community who after 30 years, will still not allow him or them to advance past "Siamese Dream" (released July 27, 1993), regardless of the fact that those individuals and the circumstances in which that album was made cannot ever be reconstructed in the exact same way again. 

Shiny's journey often feels as if he is trapped in a world he never quite constructed for himself, that he is a pawn for the agendas of others without being seen for who he truly is or can be. And it is telling that Shiny never makes a significant appearance until Act III. Events, occurrences, transgressions, anything and everything except for his humanity defines him but again, it is all a perception that he couldn't change if he tried...and who says, that in any of his incarnations--as Zero, Glass or Shiny--he hasn't? No wonder he chooses to finally leave Earth for good.    

The conceptual storytelling of "ATUM" and its musical scope reminded me very much of past albums including the final third of The Who's "Tommy" (released May 17, 1969), Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice's "Jesus Christ Superstar" (released October 27, 1970), The Kinks' "Preservation Act 2" (released May 8, 1974), Genesis' "The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway" (released November 29, 1974), and Planet P. Project's "Pink World" (released 1984).

As far as the instrumentation is concerned, with regards to how the music interprets the narrative, yes, the material leans more towards the synthetic with keyboards and analog synthesizers than the Pumpkin guitar army--which feels appropriate considering the cosmic theme and setting. For this album, Corgan, alongside Jeff Schroeder who joins him on keyboards this time around, creates a soundscape that is as lushly orchestrated as anything we may have heard in the past by the likes of Wendy Carlos and Vangelis--whose iconic film score to Ridley Scott's "Blade Runner" (1982) often came to mind--and the effect is thrilling in its musical world building. One moment in particular truly stood out to me during the track "Sojourner," in which the narrative describes the re-entrance of Shiny to Earth, the awe of the crowd as well as Shiny's own trepidation and confusion are entirely conveyed without lyrics. The keyboard soundscapes are so vivid that I swear, I could see the moment happening in my mind's eye.

The backing vocals from Katie Cole and Sierra Swan, to my ears, are superlative and only continue to build upon the Pumpkins' musical bedrock with succulence. How they coo "I love you" during June's "Butterfly Suite." The operatic textures that surround Corgan's voice in "Sojourner." The militaristic coldness of "NO...NO...NO" in "Empires." Are they really singing "meow meow" in "Moss"? Every time they appeared, my ears perked upwards and once again, just as with "CYR," if the project allows, I sincerely hope and wish that the band utilizes their efforts again. 

As for Corgan's core bandmates, and just as with "CYR," the actual contributions of Jimmy Chamberlin, James Iha and Jeff Schroeder may not always be instantly obvious due to the production and musical aesthetic of this project. But, through repeated listenings, the dense layers upon layers of sound continuously reveal themselves, again transforming for all of us exactly what an album by The Smashing Pumpkins can actually be and sound like. There are copious nods to the past, but still, the album is no throwback or retread, as it delivers a modern sheen that not only points to whatever arrives next but has now also informed everything we have heard since the reformation.  . 

And now, back to Stephen King.

While I am not well versed in his bibliography at all, I do remember when I first read Stephen King's It (published September 15, 1986), I was astounded that even over its 1000 page plus duration, just how labyrinthine the story actually was, how far beyond its initial conceit of a group of friends fighting a demonic force, first as children and again as adults, actually travelled. How the book was really a story about stories as each memory folded into another and then another, ultimately weaving a narrative about the nature of evil itself. Absolutely everything was connected and threads from past novels were woven into the narrative while threads from this novel extended further into future King novels to this day, making his entire bibliography feel like audiences have been experiencing one long story for decades.

With The Smashing Pumpkins' "ATUM," we are invited upon a "Rocket" ride as we move from "Alienation" to "Hope" or "Home" by (or is it "Bye") way of June and through the eyes of Ruby. How can we not think of "Solara" as Shiny is doomed to be engulfed by the sun? What if in his final moments on the album as he races for June, we feel her ultimate vindication and validation as she has been pleading for Shiny to "Believe in me as I believe in you"? 

Billy Corgan has expressed that Easter Eggs are sprinkled throughout the album and who knows if I will ever find them all or any (although I did spot "Starz" in the lyrics--is that one?). But, it really feels like every release since the reformation have all been stepping stones to "ATUM," musically, thematically as well as narratively, whether fictional or real, and furthermore, the musical grace notes throughout are as enlightening as they are filled with delight. A quick Google search  explains that ATUM, as represented in ancient Egyptian religion, is the manifestation of the sun and creator god, perhaps being the original God. And with that in mind am I really hearing a close series of notes that echo in the title theme "Hark The Herald Angels Sing"?  Moving all the way to the end of the album with "Of Wings," I was so moved hearing the quick reprise of the "Clementeen...Clementine..." phrase from "Hooray!" 

New discoveries only lead to new questions and again...it feels more and more that everything is connected as we reach "ATUM." While the first volume of the Shiny series may have originally functioned as a "Hello. We're back!" from the band to listeners and the second album took a swan dive into the electronic side of the Pumpkins universe, the arrival of "ATUM" now informs and recontextualizes both albums as again, you can hear the threads that lead to the rock opera, how the band has been setting the table all of this time for the reveal of this sumptuous sonic meal. 

Additionally, we can read through the narrative certain allegories and parallels to The Smashing Pumpkins as real flesh and blood human beings who exist in a rock band that some have been trying to cast aside for decades and are continuously foiled. Shiny has been exiled from Earth and in a way, it could be read as a metaphor to the band's outsider status within their contemporaries as well as within the music industry as a whole, despite all of their global success. 

The Smashing Pumpkins are one of these bands that I find myself having to defend as they are admittedly an acquired taste and not one that has ever possessed the warm, communal spirit of say Foo Fighters. To that end, I have long contended that Billy Corgan has not received the respect that he more than deserves for his body of work but he is also held to an impossibly higher standard than his contemporaries. And so, I would imagine that Corgan and the band feel somewhat cast aside and undervalued in the overall conversation of rock music and what it means to be a relevant band in the 21st century. Certainly, the band, and definitely Corgan tend to thrive on being backed into a corner and having something to prove. But, by the same token, it must be exhausting after over 30 years in the game. 

The theme of marginalization presented throughout the album might also be a factor that addresses the band's past internally as some members were bound to have been overshadowed by Billy Corgan due to the immense intensity of his talent, prolific nature, skill and leadership. Returning to Corgan himself, his own feelings of being marginalized are represented not only by Shiny choosing to leave Earth but in songs over and again in which he echoes a certain sentiment as heard in The Beach Boys' "I Just Wasn't Made For These Times" from "Pet Sounds" (released May 16, 1966), especially as "I tried so hard," he exclaims in the classic "Today." 

Shiny's decision to take a suicidal ride into the sun when he punches The March Of Life code made me wonder if this was referencing times during which Corgan found himself in emotional/psychological/spiritual crisis and just as an inexplicable force intervenes to save Shiny and send him back to Earth, something has essentially saved Billy Corgan's life more than once as despondency and turmoil led to whatever forces that pushed him to create the likes of "Siamese Dream" (released July 27, 1993), "Adore" (released June 2, 1998) and his second solo album "Ogilala" (released October 13, 2017).

Further still, is "ATUM" also seen as an ode from the band to the fans that have sustained them as represented in Shiny and June? For who are we who love The Smashing Pumpkins to the members of the band? They do not know us at all and I would gather, we know the truth of them via the songs, despite whatever public personas they may be projecting. June loves Shiny but has never met him and Shiny does not know June exists. Yet, by album's end, each of them are truly seen by the other, leading to their communion in the and beyond the sun. In turn, The Smashing Pumpkins, and Billy Corgan in particular, feels seen when we, the fans, respond to the work they have all created...or at least to our honest attempts to meet them where they are. 

June spends the album reaching towards Shiny, who finally reaches back by album's end and in a way, "ATUM" sees The Smashing Pumpkins reaching out towards us as they ask us to reach further for them as they deliver such an enormous, complex, dynamic and often gorgeous musical work. As I listen to this album, I keep thinking how they could have taken the easy way out so many times, delivered "Siamese Dream 2" and called it a day on the touring circuits performing their hits ad nauseum as a nostalgia act... but they didn't! 

The Smashing Pumpkins are a band that continues to demonstrate that there is more territory to unearth, new horizons to discover, greater heights to reach, more barriers to break. As we live in a time where music has been so devalued, this band continues to try so valiantly due to the belief that music itself is worth the attempt.

The Smashing Pumpkins' "ATUM" is far and away one of my favorite albums of 2023. 

COMING HOME: A PRELUDE TO "ATUM"

 

Throughout the continuing story of The Smashing Pumpkins, the history of the band, as led by singer/songwriter/multi-instrumentalist/producer Billy Corgan, while not precisely repeating, does feel to rhyme. 

 

After the band's initial breakup in 2000, plus the formation and demise of the band Zwan, which featured both Billy Corgan and drummer Jimmy Chamberlin and who released one solitary yet excellent album "Mary Star Of The Sea" (released January 28, 2003), Corgan decided to create his first official solo album. What began as a song cycle about Chicago (and still remains unreleased), Billy Corgan eventually emerged with the distorted electronic soundscapes of "TheFutureEmbrace" (released June 21, 2005). Yet, in addition to the album, on the same day, Corgan purchased full-page advertisements in both the Chicago Sun Times and the Chicago Tribune, in which he promoted his album but also expressed the following:

"When I played the final Smashing Pumpkins show on the night of December 2, 2000, I walked off the Metro stage believing that I was forever leaving a place of my life behind. I naively tried to start a new band, but found that my heart wasn't in it. I moved away to pursue a love that I once had but got lost. So, I moved back home to heal what was broken in me, and to my surprise, I found what I was looking for. I found that my heart is in Chicago, and that my heart is in The Smashing Pumpkins.

For a year now, I have walked around with a secret, a secret I chose to keep. But now, I want you to be among the first to know what I have made plans to renew and revive The Smashing Pumpkins. I want my band back, and my songs, and my dreams. In this desire, I feel I have come home again."

And yet, that road home was longer, more complicated and more turbulent that I would assume Corgan had anticipated and undeniably, as he had may hoped. 

The Smashing Pumpkins' grand return arrived with the art metal fueled and dire political warnings of "Zeitgeist" (released July 10, 2007), essentially picking up where "MACHINA/the machines of God" (released February 29, 2000) and "MACHINA II/the friends and enemies of modern music" (released September 5, 2000) left off sonically. Yet aside from Jimmy Chamberlin's formal announcement that he was fully rejoining Corgan's vision, no words were given about either guitarist/singer/songwriter James Iha or bassist D'Arcy Wretsky's potential participation, until the album release, which indicated that only Corgan and Chamberlin handled all of the recording themselves.

The subsequent tour only raised more questions as the arrival of Iha and Wretsky's replacements, guitarist Jeff Schroeder and bassist Ginger Reyes-Pooley, in addition to keyboardist Lisa Harriton, occurred without explanation of any sort, thus inadvertently giving the fan community more than enough ammunition to question if what was being seen was indeed a "reunion" at all, which then led to further questions about whether the band on stage had the right to even call themselves "The Smashing Pumpkins." 

Musically, the band forged ahead powerfully, notably without any concern or adherence to their past. While the hits were performed consistently, they arrived surrounded by radical re-arrangements, hefty deep cuts, unorthodox cover songs plus all new material including the astonishing often 30 minute plus experience known as "Gossamer." Yet, after a contentious 20th anniversary tour, Jimmy Chamberlin departed the band for the second time, leaving Billy Corgan as the sole original member standing, therefore continuing to confound sections of the fan community in a variety of emotions, from honest confusion to to inexcusable vitriol. 

Over the years, Billy Corgan has made consistent references to the nature of family as he speaks of his band, and clearly the nature of family is something of importance to him,. especially with what he has previously explained about his unorthodox and turbulent upbringing. I have long wondered if the first implosion of The Smashing Pumpkins and the desire to bring the band back together was perhaps about something even greater than the music. 

Perhaps, whatever family element that had been formulated--essentially a family dynamic he created instead of one he was born into--needed to be reconstituted in order for him to feel fully supported in order to create to his best abilities. I can only wonder as he has never been terribly explicit in this regard but during the period in which he would publicly lash out at James Iha--even going so far as to blame him for the band's initial break up in 2000, there was this part of me that really didn't view it as fury (no matter how ferocious Corgan can be) but it was one filled with hurt and grief as Iha infamously departed the band's final show without a word to his bandmates. Maybe, for Corgan, there was no real closure and for a man still coping with the abuse he suffered as a child, I would imagine that lack of closure to being more than unsettling, to say the least.

Over the next several years, Billy Corgan, along with Jeff Schroeder, continued to wave the flag of The Smashing Pumpkins with a revolving door of musicians, most notably, bassist/singer Nicole Fiorentino and then 19 year old drummer Mike Byrne, who had the completely impossible task of stepping into the Grand Canyon sized hole left behind by Jimmy Chamberlin's departure, yet who also handled himself brilliantly, as far as I am concerned. 

 

Billy Corgan then began what may have been his most experimental artistic and business venture yet, the "Teargarden By Kaleidyscope" project, a planned 44 song conceptual opus based upon the Tarot and would be released a song at a time...and all FOR FREE. And yet, so unfortunately, enthusiasm from fans and the music press was generally underwhelming. Or better to say, the first set of "Teargarden" material, while as inventive, creative and forward moving as anything Corgan had written previously, the connection between the art and the audience was not quite happening. Corgan then re-grouped, changed the release strategy and he and the band, consisting of Schroeder, Fiorentino and Byrne, created the outstanding "Oceania" (released June 19, 2012), the self-described "album within the album" of the "Teargarden" project. 

 

To my ears, "Oceania" was so strong, and the chemistry between Corgan and his new bandmates so palpable, that I felt that maybe, Corgan had found the right collective to truly become a new version of the band and push The Smashing Pumpkins into the future. But, shockingly, and also without any explanation from Corgan, Nicole Fiorentino and Mike Byrne were both dismissed from the band, leaving himself and Schoreder to record and complete "Monuments To An Elegy" (released December 9, 2014) with Motley Crue's Tommy Lee on drums.  

As strong as the album is, "Monuments To An Elegy" almost felt like its title. There was something to the proceedings that felt to suggest an ending, which was indeed compounded at the time by Corgan's allusions and hints that maybe there was an end insight for The Smashing Pumpkins, which by this point, even he was nor referring to as a band anymore but as a "concept." The "Teargarden" project ended abruptly and without completion, a subsequent album entitled "Day For Night" was begun but eventually abandoned and for a spell, it looked as if The Smashing Pumpkins had come to an end for the second time. 

And now, here is where the history begins to rhyme...

In 2017, Billy Corgan reached his 50th birthday. 

In current interviews, he has pulled back the veil to reveal a little bit of where he was emotionally during that period, which happened to be more despondent time in which he was feeling unconfident and surprisingly unsure of his own abilities as a songwriter. As he was pondering a second solo album, one that would become the absolutely beautiful acoustic based poetic confessional entitled "Ogilala" (released October 13, 2017), it took Producer Rick Rubin's valued opinion that the emerging songs were indeed good enough, a viewpoint which gave Corgan the needed encouragement to provide the proper artistic push.

Additionally, Billy Corgan's tenuous personal relationships with Jimmy Chamberlin was mending and most astonishingly, James Iha reached out--after 16 years of silence--to begin being repairing their own relationship. Even more, Corgan had been in a committed relationship with his now fiancée, and had also become a Father for the first time during this period incidentally, (both Chamberlin and Iha are also married and each had become parents as well). 

If the concept of family and home carries any significant weight, it feels that not one but two families Corgan had created were now becoming more solidified as existing as healthy, healing spaces. If The Smashing Pumpkins were to return, the moment felt to be most possible at this point rather than 10-12 years earlier. 

In 2018, and without bassist D'Arcy Wretsky, The Smashing Pumpkins, now with three fourths of the original band intact plus Jeff Schroeder (an exceedingly wise move to keep him in the Pumpkin ranks), unveiled "Shiny and Oh So Bright, Vol. 1/LP: No Past, No Future, No Sun" (released November 16, 2018) and embarked upon a tour that ultimately rewarded them with the level of accolades from fans and journalists that had eluded Corgan for the bulk of the previous decade. 

The band sounded even mightier than ever before, as there felt to be a greater sense of purpose at work. That there was an understanding that this time, we've been given an opportunity so let's get it right, let's honor our legacy while still pushing ourselves forwards. As Corgan sings in "Knights Of Malta," the first track from the album, "We're gonna make this happen...We're gonna ride the rainbow." 

 

Maybe the solidification of families and a new stabilization of what home means to Billy Corgan has rejuvenated him and his creative spirit, as that sense of security is intact. Hs already famous prolific creativity has felt to fly int overdrive as since 2018, Corgan has composed both band and solo material, which has included the double album "CYR" (released November 27, 2020) and the double album "Cotillions" (released November 22, 2019), plus the aforementioned first album in the "Shiny" series as well as the third album in the series (entitled "Zodian At Crystal Hall"--I just love that!) as yet unreleased and a new album currently being recorded. 

Which all leads us to this point in time as The Smashing Pumpkins' "ATUM: A Rock Opera In Three Acts," a 33 song sequel to both "Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness" (released October 24, 1995) and "MACHINA/the machines of God" is here for us all to experience and moreso, it feels like the album could only have arrived at this specific point in time. The history has rhymed and has now advanced to where Billy Corgan possibly hoped that it would have ascended years ago.

To recap...

2000/2014 The Smashing Pumpkins reach a conclusion

2005/2017 Billy Corgan releases a solo album while also signaling his intent to reform the band 

2009/2021-2023 Billy Corgan announces a large scaled conceptual song cycle combined with an innovative release strategy

Where "Teargarden" did not reach the finish line, "ATUM" has more than crossed it and with the same ideas that Corgan originally envisioned but has been realized in a different way. Essentially, by creating a podcast, "Thirty-Three With William Patrick Corgan," during which he would extensively discuss the album's narrative and premiere a song from the album in sequence over a thirty three week period, fans are therefore receiving songs FOR FREE before the staggered streaming releases of each album third, which would then be followed by the final physical release. 

This time, everything feels to be in place between the band members, between the band and the fan community and even the music press is less contentious presently. Fates willing, life within The Smashing Pumpkins universe can continue upon this trajectory in order to fully realize whatever is to come after "ATUM." For now, the triple album rock opera is here and the next posting will take a dive into the work, which I strongly feel is the culmination of the past 16 years, all of which has been weaved into the music and the narrative, something that necessitated this lengthy of a preamble. There are connections to be made certainly...

...Wanna go for a ride?

HOW DO YOU SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD?: WORDS FOR LIN

"I read the news today...oh boy..."

Those lyrics, from The Beatles' "A Day In The Life" are ones that I will so sadly be saying to myself more and more in the coming years when it comes to the people who have all played instrumental roles in the creation of who I am, from my earliest days to existing in this very moment and who I will continue to be until my own final moments. 

Today, as I was listening to Terri Hemmert's weekly Sunday morning "Breakfast With The Beatles" broadcast on my beloved WXRT FM from Chicago (thank you internet for live streaming), and soon thereafter the program's conclusion, the inimitable Hemmert, whose voice I have listened to for nearly 40 years upon the airwaves of the greatest radio station in the world, as far as I am concerned, made an announcement that completely upended whatever sense of possibility a new day in the world would have: WXRT's Lin Brehmer, legendary on air host and Chicago radio fixture, had passed away early this morning after a fight with cancer. His wife and son were by his side at his moment of transition. For the rest of Chicago and for anyone, anywhere who ever had the gift of hearing him, he was, as he always professed, "our best friend in the whole world." 

He was 68.

LIN BREHMER

AUGUST 19, 1954-JANUARY 22, 2023

Throughout the morning as I continued to listened to WXRT, Terri Hemmert intermittently re-appeared to alert listeners to the sad news and expertly guide us throughout the day as we all processed. I wrote a personal message of condolence to WXRT's Lara Mondae, the station's outstanding Saturday overnight DJ, as we have developed a friendship over these past six years. I read Chicago newspaper articles and tributes throughout the day and flowing through my Twitter feed was one remembrance after another and another and another from Brehmer's colleagues, personal friends, musicians, representatives of the Chicago music community and devoted and heartbroken listeners, all sharing the exact same sense of sorrow on this Sunday, freshly adorned with a small amount of new fallen snow.  

Interweaved, were gorgeous sets of music that truly felt to be personally chosen selections representing songs Lin Brehmer may have loved himself or songs of grief, mourning, solace and grace in this time of utter sadness. Leave it to Lin Brehmer, that even (or especially) in his passing, he represented the very best of what radio could actually be--to exist as this form of communication and communion, where you could feel the human hands behind the technology selecting songs to channel the emotions we are all feeling, as well as simultaneously attempting to adhere to Brehmer's daily sign off during his on air broadcasts: "Never take anything for granted. It's great to be alive."  

And for me, hearing tracks like The Rolling Stones' "Moonlight Mile," Led Zeppelin's "Thank You" and The Flaming Lips' "Do You Realize??" (a song I played on my own radio show to begin my on-air tribute to my Dad after his passing in 2018) among so many others, cemented the solemnity of the day and the feelings that emerge when someone cherished departs.

What is so fascinating to me regarding Lin Brehmer's passing is how deeply I am feeling the hurt, the ache and loss as he was a radio figure that I actually never really heard on air very much at all. My connection to him rests in the tremendous realization of how deeply he figured into my life without ever really knowing it at the time. You see, Lin Brehmer began broadcasting as an on-air personality for WXRT in 1991, the same year I had graduated from the University Of Wisconsin-Madison and began my life in earnest in my adopted city. This was a time period in which the internet, such as it was, was so young and live streaming was unheard of, making it then impossible for me to hear my favorite station in the world let alone Lin Brehmer's morning show. 

I was born and raised in Chicago and my allegiance to WXRT began possibly around 1984, when I was 15 years old. I remember the television advertisements for WXRT back in the early 1980's, commercials during which the spokesperson would announce matter-of-factly, that WXRT was a rock station but "not for 14 year olds"--something I bristled with initially until I turned to the station for the first time for a spell and quickly realized they were correct. I just was not ready for what WXRT had to offer and how they offered it. 

By the time I was 15, I was itching for new sounds, new musical horizons to investigate as I was maybe beginning to feel a certain set of limitations to hearing the exact same songs from artists I was treasuring on the AOR stations. WXRT was the one radio station that felt to break boundaries, to extend itself further, to provide what I had already loved but to challenge any pre-conceived musical perceptions I may have been housing and all of it was delivered through a collective of DJs that just sounded different from any other station in the city. 

If the DJs on our classic rock stations were rambunctious kids and shock jocks filled with on air bravado and outsized personalities, the DJs of WXRT felt like their even cooler and more sophisticated older siblings or wiser Uncles and Aunts. These DJs were the ones who loved the music for music's sake, ones who clearly loved any good times the city of Chicago could offer yet they didn't seem terribly interested in the circus aspect of things. These DJs felt to be the fans who grew up into being the curators--curators of the music as well as the art form of radio itself, simply by providing the listener with an extension of their authentic selves through their voices and the music they genuinely loved.

From 1984, through the remaining years of the decade and beginning of the next, Lin Brehmer was the Music Director of WXRT, a position he held until 1990. These were, coincidentally, the exact years I was a faithful daily listener and WXRT became my #1 favorite radio station--as previously stated, an opinion I hold to this very day. or me, WXRT remains the station whose bar is set at a superior height all other stations strain to reach. It also represents the gold standard that I always strain reach for during my own radio adventures at WVMO and I lovingly keep trying each and every week. 

But, during my adolescence and college years, Lin Brehmer's work was demonstrably behind the scenes. He was profoundly instrumental with helping to shape my musical tastes, as his work introduced me to artists, genres and musical outlooks that I would have otherwise never had been exposed to. In that way, much like the late filmmaker and music aficionado John Hughes, and also without ever having met him, Lin Brehmer utilized his personal musical passions to seismically open doors inside of me. 

Through his influence, and the WXRT DJs who collaborated with him, it always felt as if Lin Brehmer was personally handing me the keys to the kingdom of music itself with open hearted purity, child like excitement and in the same way achieved between personal friends, family members and even the young, aspiring DJs I would meet upon my arrival in college. 

During this same time period, circa 1987, I began my life in Madison, WI as a college Freshman. One of my very first thoughts was to investigate if the campus possessed its own radio station, which they did in the moldy smelling basement located in the bowels of the J. F. Friedrick Center named WLHA FM, and sporting a booming watt and a half of power. I interviewed and was soon invited to join the 'LHA ranks and my radio adventures began. 

Certainly, and due to my over the moon excitement, my earliest shows--three hours every Friday mid morning--were more than self indulgent as I tried to play whatever I wished to play almost regardless of whatever audience that may have been listening. I wanted to play Pink Floyd's side long 1977 epic "Dogs" and so I did. Not that there's anything wrong with that, in and of itself. Yet over time, and when my show eventually moved to late Saturday nights from 10 pm to 1 am, for my remaining three years on air, I realized that actions like those were more than self serving and truthfully, do nothing to create the relationship that I adored so much from radio but didn't quite understand just yet. 

But, I was learning... 

Again, and still without even having heard his voice yet, Lin Brehmer was directly beside me during my WLHA years, giving me as much counsel as the DJs I revered on WXRT at that time, including Frank E. Lee, Johnny Mars, Spinnin' Marty Lennartz, Wendy Rice and of course, the aforementioned Terri Hemmert. 

What was it about the radio that had enraptured me from the very beginning? What was the mystery on the other side of the radio speakers that captivated me so powerfully and completely? The more I listened and the more I did my own shows on college radio as well as currently, I have learned more and more that maybe what I was responding to was that sense of connection that is forged when the spirit within the voice at the microphone reaches the spirit of the ear, and therefore, the heart of the listener. How that connection is made is still so ephemeral, so ethereal and yet, exactly like when you and I respond to a piece of music or a song...no matter when it was originally recorded and released to the world. 

With WXRT, I now know that what kept me returning to this station in addition to the exemplary music, were these figures, these faceless voices who became my teachers, and even moreso, somehow, my friends.

What I was just beginning to learn back in the 1980's, and without question, what I am still learning in 2023 is in order to make the connection that is so crucial to the relationship a DJ is trying to formulate with the listener is to just exist as your most authentic self in voice and spirit. There was no sense of artifice with the DJs of WXRT. No frills or fabrication. These are people wo are always speaking to us and not at us. And even though they cannot hear us, what they created always felt like a conversation. 

Through the enormity of his presence, I would eventually learn over time that Lin Brehmer was a conversationalist, host and storyteller unlike anyone else.

Lin Brehmer became an on air DJ for WXRT in 1991 and over the years, I truthfully only heard him sporadically, again and due to my residence and the means of technology at the time. On visits to family in Chicago, my radio dial would turn back to WXRT upon arrival and I sometimes heard his on air banter with Mary Dixon, now of WBEZ.  Other than these occasions, I was in Madison with no means to hear him. Once technology caught up, and I with it, my life as a preschool teacher certainly prevented me from hearing Brehmer throughout the day, when he would normally be on air. Yet, I have been catching up a bit in more recent years, especially with his treasured and exceedingly well written and composed "Lin's Bin" series, thankfully archived upon the station's website. 

What I hear when I listen to Lin Brehmer's voice is the confirmation of every lesson given during my upbringing. He was authentic. He was real. He just was himself. Seeing the a mount of love flowing back in full reciprocation has been more emotional than I could have anticipated. I have spent much of the week listening to WXRT's beautiful tribute broadcast, as led by Terri Hemmert, which aired the day after his passing and I have been brought to tears repeatedly by the stories and songs that illustrated this man and this lifetime in radio, friendship and family. I have been reading one remembrance after another and another and another, across decades at that, from close friends and colleagues to long established musical artists to acquaintances to those who interacted with him perhaps just one time, I have been absolutely struck that every memory expresses the exact same sentiment regardless of who is sharing the memory. 

Lin Brehmer was the real deal who was genuine in word, deed, energy, enthusiasm and affection and in doing so, he ingratiated himself resoundingly throughout the city of Chicago, and further with a reach that extended throughout the world. 

Without any sense of disrespect to his 'XRT DJs colleagues and friends, Lin Brehmer became the identifying voice of the station itself. It was as synonymous as it was symbiotic. You could not think of one without the other from Brehmer to WXRT to Chicago. Even as radio became even more corporate and machine driven, Brehmer seemed to extend his humanity to combat the sea change, ensuring WXRT would never lose its foundation, its human touch. No wonder it is Lin Brehmer's voice that opened an episode of last year's tremendous set-in-Chicago series, "The Bear." When I saw that scene, all I could think of was..."HOME."

Lin Brehmer was Chicago and Chicago clearly embraced him in return, truly making him everybody's best friend in the whole world--precisely as he proclaimed himself. He lived the part because, by every single account that I have heard, read and seen, this is just the man he was...joyously, gregariously, authentically and humanely.

Listening to the tribute broadcast. Reading the veritable ocean of gratitude for the his life throughout my Twitter feed. Experiencing the archived installments of "Lin's Bin," and being completely awash by the undeniable poetry contained in his loquacious, personal style, allowing me to see that he was a modern day bard, as he truly was as gifted as they come in the oral tradition.  

And then, what really broke me were the public displays upon marquees and landmarks through out Chicago.

 

Pictured above are just two examples of the public outpouring of love and mourning over the passing of Lin Brehmer.  The key words in that sentence are simply "just two" as the amount of theater and restaurant marquees moving all the way up to the very top of the Sears Tower (no, I will NEVER call it "Willis"--thank you very much) in lights and entirely in tribute to Lin Brehmer...I am unsure of the exact words I could put into place for what sights like those meant to me as I think of and remember this man. 

Yet, perhaps, I could express it this way...

Frank Capra's "It's A Wonderful Life" (1946) is a film that I have had an evolving relationship with throughout my life. As a child, the film's ubiquity at Christmastime on every conceivable channel, and cemented by its climax, was more than I could tolerate as it all felt to exist within this old fashioned snow globe devoid of anything that did not instantly strike me as overwrought in its corniness. 

By the time I was 18, I watched the film in full for the first time during my Journalism class as we were studying the topic of "public domain," the period after a copyright expires and anyone, anywhere has access to the work without restriction (the reason for the film's ubiquity at the time). I was not at all pleased with the prospect of having to sit through this film that I had already rejected--albeit fully sight unseen. 

Strikingly, I found myself very quickly being drawn into the life odyssey of George Bailey (beautifully portrayed by James Stewart) and his hometown of Bedford Falls, the place he desperately wishes to leave for world travels yet never does as one event after another compels him to remain thus building his own sense of resentment, failure and ultimately existential desperation leading to potential suicide. It is through the divine intervention of Clarence the Guardian Angel (Henry Travers) who shows George what the world would have been like did he not exist. This disturbing vision compounded by the film's aforementioned climax, affords George the ability to see that not only does his life possess meaning, but that because he exits, he is not a failure. And because he has been generous, giving, selfless, and genuinely concerned about the well being of his fellow members of his community, the community reciprocates in turn.

The conclusion, now completely understood, was extremely moving to me then. In all of the years since that first viewing, the power of the film, especially that climax, just shakes me to my core, bringing me to well earned tears each time I am caught in that flood of angst and despair to be rescued by community and kindness. 

Maybe as I think about Lin Brehmer, this is why his death has upended me so very much. That through everything he taught me about music and about radio, I think what his life has taught me the most is what he clearly had been teaching all of us all along: what it means to just be a good person, especially, crucially within a dark 21st century that feels to reward all manner of bad behaviors to just plain evil. 

Decades upon decades of photos and remembrances from all manner of individuals, all extolling nothing but the highest praise for this man who just treated everyone he encountered with decency and dignity. A man who always seemed to provide a sense of uplift to whomever he was in communication with--in person or through the radio. All of the photos bearing Lin in a broad smile, and often in some manner of an embrace, exude supreme warmth. And the words of his friends, from that first announcement, through the tribute and every day thereafter, were humbling in their transparency and fragility. 

Lin Brehmer was a man who genuinely loved--his family, his friends, his community, the city of Chicago and of course, music--and was loved in return.  

What does it mean to be a good person? And what does it mean when that person one day disappears from our everyday lives? It always goes back to the words he said every day on the air, his personal mantra, the one lesson he was teaching us every single time he said it. 

"Take nothing for granted. It's great to be alive."

We live in a sad, cynical world. But, beauty exists. The times are fraught with uncertainty and unease. But, we are here and with each other. We are all wrapped up within our own trials, traumas and triggers. Yet, what it would means to reach out instead of folding inwards. No one should ever feel to be a failure and we can be each other's guardian angels just through the virtue of our own kindness that we can extend every day. Tell the people that you love, that you do indeed love them. Tell them today and do not hesitate for tomorrow is not promised. Why are the words "I love you" so difficult to say yet everyone seems to have no qualms expressing the harshest of vitriolic platitudes? 

Lin Brehmer could have easily remained a private figure who did not engage in the world around him but he chose to perform the opposite. But, then again, this was not a performance. Lin gave us himself and that level of openness and goodness is so difficult to lose.

But, what we had and for so long...and now, we get to keep his spirit alive by extending what he began...and listening to our favorite music as loudly as possible.

Lin Brehmer's life, and now, his passing, feels to be the completion of a story. One that has been unfolding in front of us for years upon years and now that the story is finished, we realize exactly what has been told to us from the beginning. In this case, I feel such gratitude to have been alive during the same time as Lin Brehmer because even in his death, he is still teaching me about music, radio, and most importantly, about what it means to be a human being. 

It is up to us to continue the story he was telling to us by having us tell it to others. Let us never take his life for granted.

Bless you, Lin. Blessings to his wife and son, his WXRT family, his friends and every life he touched through the goodness of himself.  

Thank you, Lin. For everything...